HateToHelp

HELP HELP HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-01T11:14:00.000+05:30

Claire and Lara are about to set off again. Having been home in the US for a few months, we are growing restless. And noticeably restless to help some more…

We are returning to an orphanage we visited last year at the end of our eight-month trip. It was an amazing place that inspired both of us with its passion, faith, and commitment to its kids’ health and wellbeing. It was one of the best non-profits we’ve seen.

Since we got home, we’ve been trying to do some fundraising, and trying to figure out the best ways for us to help these kids out. We have decided to turn our own commitments to run a marathon into a helpful project. We’re starting a running club, and aiming to get some of the older kids into the June 24th Kilimanjaro marathon, and to run a race around the orphanage itself with some of the littler ones.

We’re also starting a newsletter, some art projects, and helping with the library that is devoid of books and the kids who need help with their reading.

This is something we are both extremely committed to…we’re heading back next week, and staying through the summer. We are trying to raise funds for shoes, equipment, and shipment for these kids. We’re paying for our own trips, and giving anything we raise to the kids and the organization. Read more about our efforts HERE.

Please consider this an opportunity to throw your energy at something very worthwhile. We would love any help, advice, or positive thoughts you can offer.

We would love it, and we’re also getting desperate because the generosity (in the form of shoes and books…) we’ve received, we can’t get over to the kids. Please help! Thank you so much in advance…

Earth Shoes make our poisoned environment less so.

2007-02-13T08:32:00.000+05:30

My new sandals are from Earth, and they're perfect. When I wear then, I not only feel taller, but better and more worldly and informed than most people. What a blessing. And I'm doing it for A CAUSE. And they're VEGAN! What good shoes aren't vegan, I tell you! It's fantastic, I tell you. Buy them now!

With every step you reap the following rewards.

- Better Back Health
- Increased Caloric Burn-off
- A Healthier Planet
- More More Better Endurance
- Improved Natural Walking Motion

As Earth so humbly claims:

"There is little of our poisoned environment that we as individuals can control, but we do what we can to overcome the negative influences on our lives. We seek harmony of the body and spirit and use what is available...meditation, nutrition, exercise, comfortable clothing and restful surroundings. We strive for a healthy natural lifestyle.

Man has built a world of concrete and steel that is incompatible with his anatomy. We need a shoe that recreates underfoot the natural terrain that now lies buried beneath the concrete of our cities. To meet this need, a Yoga teacher from Copenhagen by the name of Anne Kalso, invented a sole design called the "Minus Heel®". In the form of a healthy footprint in soft earth, it provides unprecedented comfort; one immediately experiences a new way of standing and walking.

This unique construction with its heel lower than its toe, mirrors the effects of walking barefoot in the sand. This alignment of your body helps to develop a natural, graceful stride."

No, really, but the shoes are comfortable. And did I already say they're vegan?

New Year's Assessment

2007-01-10T08:04:00.000+05:30

Well, it's a new year. And as I was cleaning through some of Claire and my trip paraphernalia searching for lost items, I came across the souvenirs I kept from some of the books I've given up from my exes. I'm glad to know that my cleansing efforts are educating the world. Good books too: The Secret History, Donna Tartt; Mountains Beyond Mountains, Paul Farmer; Hopscotch, Cortazar etc etc.

However, despite all Claire and my best efforts, and all the moving that has been happening lately, traces are everywhere. A stray conversation at New Year's, a pair of warm-up pants in the back of my closet, an email search gone awry. For someone who hasn’t dated many people, they all seemed to be popping up.

So, I have realized this New Year's that among the various other resolutions I have made is to simplify simplify simplify. This applies to my lifestyle, my email inbox...everything. Most of my ex paraphernalia is in storage, but for some reason a collection of ex-boyfriends clothing showed up in my armoire. I felt the message was clear.

Season of giving. I packed up three T-shirts, and a pair of warm-up pants and took them to the Goodwill truck. I prefer the one-on-one method of giving Clara and I usually do, but felt that urgency was more the issue. It was an impulse and the thought of going to find actual people to give it to seemed extensive.

So there. New Year, newly cleansed armoire.

Send Positive Energy to Muna the Kitty

2006-12-11T02:21:00.000+05:30

A reader sent us this note abotu her poor kitty who was recently diagnosed with feline Leukemia. Please think of both kitty and Allie, as she struggles to to pay for the treatments that Muna needs...

Dear Claire and Lara,
I've been in contact with you before through comments at Tripping On Words.

I am hoping that you will get out the word that my darling 8-month-old kitten, Muna (pronounced MOO-nah), is in desperate need of prayers and positive energy. She was diagnosed at 10 weeks with Feline Leukemia. She was doing fairly well until about two weeks before Thanksgiving; I noticed Muna trying to cough up a hairball but swallowing it before expulsion. In the week before Thanksgiving, she developed an unpleasant odor. The week of Thanksgiving, the quality of her coat went from smooth and soft to very oily. I knew something was wrong. I took her to the vet November 30th because of labored breathing. The vet did a second confirmation of FeLV, meaning there is no possible way it will ever be eradicated from Muna's system. However, the vet simply diagnosed Muna as having a hairball and set me home with some Cat-Lax to help it pass through her system. This past Saturday she stopped eating. Sunday she stopped drinking water voluntarily. I called the vet Monday morning to make the earliest possible appointment, Tuesday afternoon at 3PM. Monday night Muna was yowling when touched, in addition to stumbling and staggering when she walked. I woefully mourned my kitty that night, and requested my boyfriend drive me to the vet the next day in the event Muna might euthanized.

She wasn't. Another older and more concerned vet gave the following diagnosis after blood tests: High white blood cell count. Low red blood cell count. Anemia. Low protein levels. = NOT GOOD.

However, the vet prescribed the liquid antibiotic Clavamox for 1ML administration every twelve hours, with the addition of Nutri-Cal multivitamin gel for more iron and protein in her non-existent diet. He hoped that the antibiotic would spur Muna's appetite.

Two days later, I can tell you that the antibiotics have done very little. Muna's spine and hip bones are easily silhouetted through her skin. She will eat no more than a half-teaspoon of wet food twice daily. I cry each time she walks up to her food dishing and incessantly meows, as though pleading, "I'm so hungry! Momma, why can't I eat?" Half of the time, she is so fragile that she won't allow me to touch her. I fear she is truly dying--two years earlier than for what I originally prepared myself.

This ordeal is more difficult since I make a meager $350 a month; $150 has already gone towards vet costs. Monday morning, more money will be emptied from my pocket as I pay for another blood test ($50), plus however much for the antibiotics the vet chooses to try next.

I know my kitten's seemingly slow death is as important globally as saving Lance & Mark, but it's a huge deal on my home front. Please send prayers, positive energy, and love our way.

Kickball Leagues Get You Healthy and Married

2006-11-18T20:42:00.000+05:30

Kickball leagues the country over have been springing up in efforts to get people´s hearts racing (and healing). A reader sends us her letter about why she is part of a Kickball League, and how many marriages have been formed as a result of this highly adult sport. This is an article on the topic, although reader, WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE? We want to give it proper attribution because we do not plagiarize!

WAKA Weddings
It's a story they will be telling the grandkids. Boy and girl sign up to play WAKA Kickball. Boy and girl meet on the fields. Boy and girl hook up during the season... and the rest is kickball history.

WAKA congratulates several special kickball couples who have recently tied the knot!

Meryl and Dusty - SC Lowcountry Division
Met at their first board meeting. Meryl was the charity chair and Dusty was a volunteer referee. Playing on opposite teams, he caught her attention by reffing all of her games. They're now an official pair as of September 3rd. Good call Dusty!

Bryan "No Shoes" and April "The Scorkeeper"- VA Shore Division
Attending 3 division tournaments, 2 regional tournaments, and 3 World Kickball Championships with the Tiki Titan team kickball has been a huge part of their relationship. Married on September 2nd, they came back from their honeymoon just in time for a double header.

Jeff and Katie - VA Shore Division
Katie and Jeff were friends for a year on the team before circumstances brought them together for more than just flirtation. These team co-captains of the Tiki Titans found chemistry on and off the fields and made it offcial on September 16th.

Max and Emily - VA Cardinal Division
Met at their kickball team's pre-season, pre-partyparty. It took about a week for Max to ask Emily out, but once he did it only took him four months to realize this was the one for him. They will exchange vows on October 21st. Good luck to everyone and be sure to send in thephotos of your kickball kids!

Operation Keep My Girlfriend

2006-10-19T09:31:00.000+05:30

We hear from a lot of readers of this blog that they find us through searching google for all things breakup related (It's Called a BreakUp Cuz It's Broken; He's Just Not That Into You, etc). With Behrendt's new TV show, this series has become even more popular. Not surprising, obviously, as this is clearly one of the themes of this positive energy focused blog. We are sad to say, though, that when you do search for advice to help get you through a break up, you find many an ebook focused on crazy and misguided attempts to get someone back who you should not be with. We shudder to think of the number of credit cards virtually swiped to support such last ditch miracle cures.

That said, however, we are pleased to recommend a great blog Operation Keep My Girlfriend that actually does the dirty work of showing the ups and downs of such an effort. And, obviously, you dont have to pay $29.99 to read it. We also like it because, contrary to many of the breakups out there that probably are for the best, sometimes things should be worked out and people should stay together. Particularly when they both are interested in doing so.

Let The Mangy Mangy Rascal Eat Cake

2006-10-11T19:58:00.000+05:30

You know...Claire and I do our best. We really do. We just may or may not do it with a final frame of disgust...

Reader Needs Online Support Group and Bearable Memories

2006-10-01T06:46:00.000+05:30

Does anyone know about online support groups for all those fine American women who are single momming it while their husbands are in Iraq? We are still looking for our friend Jodi...

Additionally, a reader sent us this link to Bearable Memories, which they describe as "HateToHelp, but icky..."

Knowledge is Power in Scambodia!

2006-09-25T22:29:00.000+05:30

Claire and Lara are in Cambodia. We have met lots of young people working here, who have dedicated themselves to trying to improve a country desperately in need of help in its admirable efforts to recover from some of the most brutal bloodshed in recent memory.

We have been really impressed with the work we have seen here—work to improve land mines, conditions for women, protection for children, as well as the condition of amazing historical sites. We are encouraged: non-profits, NGOs and the people who contribute in any way can really actually create change in all the ways that people should.

That said, Claire and Lara have both had negative non-profit and NGO experiences before. Having seen the sadly infamous bad side of these organizations in corruption, dishonest management, and wasted funds, we have at times been discouraged with the practicalities of such an admirable idea. Cambodia undoubtedly has these problems; even our guidebook reiterates that Cambodia can be considered the “gravy train to Geneva,” particularly for international consultants to NGO’s who are paid unbelievably well and mired very minimally in any actual problems.

So the take-home lesson of Cambodia for HateToHelp:

Thank you to those who already have, but everyone: Give. Help. Money. Time. Stuffed Animals. Whatever you can. However, do so in an informed way and help in numerous ways to minimize the problems in this country.

In addition to our usual HateToHelp efforts to give things away, we are also going to do our best to improve the NGO and non-profit world by contacting this organization, and asking if they know the type of message their name conveys. Though perhaps as the creators of HateToHelp (PR disaster that the name is) we are not the ones to talk.

Sweatbands and Vietnam

2006-09-15T21:02:00.000+05:30

Perhaps it is the influx of new clothes from the fabulous tailors in Hoi An (I own a suit now! My first one! I'm an adult!) but I've been feeling very zen here.

And I somehow found the strength to get rid of my ex-boyfriends armband thingys that most people use to work out in, but which are one of my favorite accessories (especially on this trip of constant practicality). These armbands are wonderful, because when you wear them you feel capable. He used them because he was a bartender and they were handy when there was lots of wet things around. I used them because I am a tall but non-intimidating person who occasionally likes to look tough.

I have lent them out on numerous occasions, and they gave strength to friends going through break ups, shopping withdrawal and bad PMS. Claire has refused them numerous times on this trip. This is me wearing one to haul my butt up Everest.

He and I bought an obscene number of these. I owned at least 6. I brought two on the trip, and now only have one because I am a pillar of strength.

I handed it out tonight to a little girl trying to get me to go in a boat. It was the festival of lanterns (or something like that) in Hoi An, Vietnam, and so all the lights were out and there were just lanterns everywhere. Lovely. Very romantic. So Claire went home early because she is tired, and I wandered around on my own getting laughed at.

What better time to get rid of a little negative energy than when you're surrounded by lots of pretty things and happy people? No worries, it was clean, and the girl looked delighted. It does feel good. And besides, those types of things really don't go with my new suit.

Jilted Bride Turns Reception into Charity Event

2006-09-10T08:35:00.000+05:30

This is a wonderful HatetoHelp AP story we found today, in the SF Chronicle.

Kyle Paxman: How can we get in touch with you?!!!??
A woman who learned six weeks before her wedding that her fiance was cheating on her is turning her would-be reception into a charity benefit.

"I'm really just trying to turn it around and make something positive out of it," said Kyle Paxman.

Paxman, 29, had planned to celebrate her nuptials at the Basin Harbor Club on Lake Champlain on Saturday. When she found out about her fiance, she called off the 180-guest wedding and the four-year relationship.

She and her mother canceled the band, photographer and florist, but learned they would not be reimbursed for the reception and block of rooms they had reserved. So they turned the reception into a benefit for the Vermont Children's Aid Society and CARE USA, an international relief organization that aims to combat poverty by empowering women.

They sent out invitations to 125 women for drinks and a gourmet four-course dinner. In exchange, they hope the guests will make donations to the charities.

Note: The picture comes from the SF Chronicle/AP as well.

HateToHelp Makes a Reader's Hair Look Homeless

2006-09-07T09:13:00.000+05:30

We received this story from a reader, Natalie, who was in such shock when we posted a picture of her son, Kai, on TrippingOnWords, that she forgot to wash off the hair dye she had going. Now she needs amateur hair coloring advice. As a last resort, she says we can just send her some of the scarves Lara uses on her five month and going post-shave grow-out.

When I sat down to quickly check my email I was in the midst of soaking up some wash-out hair color to cover up the wonderful skunk-ish looking streaks that my good friend (albeit not a real hairdresser) inflicted on me under the guise of "highlights." Her hair - blonde, my hair - chocolate brown. The bleach that apparently is supposed only "lighten hair a few shades" left me with a mane that looked more like a RockStar wannabe than the subtle tones I was convinced I was going to get.

No worries, I told myself after unveiling the hideous 'do - - nothing a little wash out color can't fix. So I proceeded to buy 2 boxes (thick hair - one box only covers half of my head) of this wonderful shade called Gingerbread. It was more the color I was actually hoping to accompany my dark locks! So I apply the reddish/brownish hair color and decide that while I'm waiting 20 minutes for it to do it's thing, I'll check my email....

.... nothing exciting and nothing worth taking the effort to read - then I had a brilliant thought..."Wonder if TrippingOnWords has a new post since the last time I checked?"....

I suppose in the shock and pure delight of seeing my name up there in neon lights on your blog (it's totally about perspective, you know)... I totally forgot about the 20 minute hair color. No joke. And it suddenly dawns on me that it's now been almost an hour since I put this stuff on my hair and whatever shade of Gingerbread that it was supposed to be has probably come and gone and sent me a postcard!!!

After a good rinse and conditioning (is it just me, or do they never give you enough conditioner in those boxes?!) my skunk streaks are now a blazing shade of mahogany that would make even Pink jealous. Too bad I don't care for mahogany.

Anyone know how to tame the shade a bit – from Mahogany to Gingerbread? Here's hoping for some good hair karma,

Homeless People Who Code

2006-09-04T07:33:00.000+05:30

Thanks Lonely Man's Blog for the best HateToHelp inspired picture we have seen in, well, ever.

Bargain Shopping with Beggars

2006-08-31T16:55:00.000+05:30

As of late, HateToHelp@gmail.com has been full of emails about clothing, and how to give clothing away, and funny things people did with clothing, and what these particular pieces of clothing looked like. This reminds us of the song, "Borrowed Clothes," by Rebecca Riots, about the free box in Berkeley's People's Park. While we formulate a more extensive post on the uses of clothing for clearing your karma and aiding the world's lesser clothed, we had some thoughts about money.

Sometimes, it is better to buy someone something they like than give them money. Sometimes this is not true at all, of course, but this story is an example of when it is true. Yesterday, we found ourselves bargain shopping with a beggar and her baby in the grocery store. She was being silly, and thought that we should spend our money on an overpriced kind of powdered milk (the mother of baby was sick with something that prevented breast feeding - don't worry, this was our first concern about the situation, as breast milk is much healthier than anything powdered, as the famous Brazillian favela studies show). Instead, though, we found a much more economically priced can of formula, and thus extended budgeting knowledge in the process as well as felt smart about said budgeting knowledge and the fact that we did, indeed, get a good deal.

The point of this post, though, is to make sure that when you do give things or money to people who you think need it, you do it wisely, and kindly, and more often than you think is necessary in this world, and that you write and tell us your thoughts on doing it, your funny experiences doing it, and why you do it in the first place. Thank you, run-on sentences, for existing.

A Reader Needs Our Help

2006-08-28T15:00:00.000+05:30

A Reader in the UK with a house full of memories and the ghosts of a ten year relationship/marriage bearing down on him needs our help. He wrote to say he had found us, karmically, of course. Words of wisdom, and copies of Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui, requested. Any thoughts from you all out there? More to follow if he agrees to be blogged about...

SerendipiTEA: A Reader's Life Thoughts

2006-08-25T19:58:00.000+05:30

At HateToHelp, we really like this story. Why? Because it shows the whole trajectory of good things to bad things, and because it involves tea, and because Claire's computer is named Eppur Si Muove ("and still it moves") for this very semi-psychological, semi-technological reason....Thanks Reader!

I was procrastinating my German homework by reading, if you can call it that, all sorts of silly websites about celebrities, on which pictures are posted of said celebrities looking pissed off because paparazzi have totally invaded their private lives. I was enjoying this and drinking a cup of hot tea, which I was expecting to calm me down and focus me enough to begin the translation of a Schopenhauer extract.
Then, there was suddenly a loud noise in the street, and the next thing I knew, my mug of tea was empty, and the tea which it had contained was all over my desk, including inside of my (fairly new) laptop, and my laptop screen had gone dark.

I quickly turned off the laptop, mopped up as much as the tea as I could, and turned the laptop over and took out the battery. I left the laptop upside down, like a wide squat pyramid, thinking that perhaps the liquid would drain out of the keyboard. I called my mom to have her look up further instructions for what I should do, but all she could tell me was to leave it upside down for 72 hours to let it dry out before I even tried to turn it on.

So I did. To improve the drying-out process, I put a fan underneath the laptop so that it would be as aerated as possible. And I did my German homework by hand. And I didn't respond to any emails. And I didn't read any celebrity blogs. And I didn't miss my computer as much as I thought I would. But the best part was, I didn't even freak out that much. Not only had I backed everything up two weeks previously, but in my life, including recently, I've seen lots of problems that money can't solve, like health problems that have threatened the lives of people I love. And although possibly destroying my laptop through an act of extreme carelessness was a very expensive problem, it was still a problem that money can solve.

So, 72 hours later, I turned my laptop over, and dubiously pressed the "on" switch....and it turned on. In fact, it works perfectly. I'm writing you this email from it now.

So here are the morals:
1. Back everything up frequently
2. If you spill liquid on your laptop, turn it off, turn it over, and let it dry out for days.
3. Differentiate between types of problems, and keep some perspective.
4. Don't ever take intensive German over the summer.

TrippingOnWords is a Blogspot Noted Blog

2006-08-17T19:23:00.000+05:30

So you can check that out, and also read about the Bestest Blog of the Day.ce while we are off trekking to Everest Base Camp.

Thanks Blogspot and Bestest Blog Ever!

A Reader Asks: "What Country...

2006-08-12T14:52:00.000+05:30

...did this beautiful sweatshirt end up in?"

This is an email we received from a reader. Obviously, the reader knows us, because they blackmailed us into posting this hideous photo of Claire in exchange for an upcoming item to be sent to Nepal (where Claire and Lara are now). Lara says Claire doesn't really look like this, and is actually a hot person, but then again Lara's hair is kind of weird right now, so maybe her ideas of hotness don't carry weight.

A Reader Letter about Donations.

2006-08-07T13:28:00.000+05:30

Dear HateToHelp:

I really like your blog. It's funny and it reminds me of how it's good to read funny stuff when you're dealing with a breakup. Even though I'm not, I still think it's pretty funny. But what do you think about donating things in the name of an ex-boyfriend? Is that a good idea?

Just wondering,

J.

LIFE 1: Les Poissons! Les Poissons!

2006-08-03T19:17:00.000+05:30

Yes...yes, it's true. HateToHelp has advanced to actually SAVING LIVES.

Claire went on a run today (thus extending her own life as well). She ran along the picturesque Goa beach in an attempt to make her life more like an ad about issues that affect twenty-something women like sneakers, diet pills, and prescription drugs.

Along the way, she found a disembodied bird wing. But that doesn't make sense. She then realized that it was a displaced fish that was flopping on the ground.

She stopped and threw it back. Because she is a good HateToHelp staffer...

We hope it survived. Especially my vegetarian self. Of course, in evening out karmic balances, Claire will very likely order fish tonight for dinner.

But we won't talk about that.

Thing 16: Beggars can't be Choosers

2006-07-30T19:01:00.000+05:30

Ha.

Ha. Ha.

I took over a bunch of people's things when I left my CFHI program today. Not only because I am constantly mooching off people, but because I am trying to forward my HateToHelp motives. Among the possessions I inherited were some Princess Jasmine and Aladdin stickers (which I was assured people would like because Princess Jasmine looks like she could be Indian...though she is Arab), some bouncy balls, a magnetic toy kit, and a portable fan.

When approached in my rickshaw today by some small pathetic-looking children, I embraced my chance to give things away. I offered a bouncy ball. They took it, fondled it, and handed it back. I felt rebuffed. They looked at me like I was crazy. I felt awkward and kind of uncool.

The stickers went over better, however. They started sticking them on their arms, then got creative and stuck Princess Jasmine on as a bindi. This I found particularly absurd. But they seemed happy. I drove away feeling fully recovered from my embarassment, and finally considered somewhat "cool" by the beggar children.

Write EWTN: Help Make Sucky Kids' Religion Shows Better

2006-07-30T11:31:00.000+05:30

I just watched the worst program of my life. And I watch some bad television. The show, perhaps called Angel Force, is the best reason for any child not to be religious that I have ever seen.

In Angel Force, ten unbelievably awkward prepubescent teenagers in safari hats sit around what appears to be the set of Steve Martin's 1979 film, The Jerk. Then, they engage in what can only be described as the worst television dialogue known to man as they wait for their priest (only marginally more well spoken, mainly because he is not 12) to come and give them insight like:

"Well actually, children, religion before the Catholic Church was imperfect and incorrect."

One of the chubby girls who appeared to be wearing a red Kabbalah bracelet a la Demi Moore did make a good point, though, remarking on the fact that Jesus indeed is not confined to time and place in the same way that homosapiens are.

I am writing this public service announcement so that you can write EWTN, the network that produces this atrocity, and ask them to cut this show and instead hire Anne Lamott to write some sarcastic children-for-God show a la God's Zoo (while not as good as what Anne Lamott could produce, God's Zoo includes animals). Or at the least they could hire me, but only if they pay well.

As a person down with Jesus, I am deeply ashamed. Please help our world.

CNN Update: Beggar Mafia

2006-07-30T11:26:00.000+05:30

Newsflash from CNN, 11:22 AM Sunday. Goa, India:

Beggars confirm the existence of the beggar mafia.

We sincerely hope the beggar mafia does not thwart our HateToHelp global movement.

Thing 15 cont: Tuesdays With Morrie Gets Trashed

2006-07-28T16:52:00.000+05:30

The reader who wrote us about the Tuesdays with Morrie book has made a decision about what to do with it. We think a healthy and positive one that cleared out a tiny bit of her mental bookshelf and made way for exciting, new, and actually quality literature.

Dear Claire and Lara,

Having you publish my email helped me to make up my mind.

Thank you!

Thank you Reader Girl!

Thing 15: Tuesdays with Morrie

2006-07-26T11:11:00.000+05:30

A diligent reader has sent this plea for help to HateToHelp@gmail.com. What can we do? Option 1, 2 or 3? Readers?? Your comments continue to delight us.

I have a copy of "Tuesdays with Morrie." I did not buy this book. There are two interlinked stories here. One is of the Book and one is of the Boy. I will talk about the Boy first because that is simpler.

The Boy was my first love. But then the Boy was insecure and after a while I realized that I could not continue to apologize for being me, and downplaying my achievements to make him feel better. So I dumped him.

We were sad for a while. But we are ok now and we are friends. In fact, we have been friends for a very long time. We did lose touch as we grew up and went away to college, but we still talk now every once in a while. I consider him a Good Friend. Just a couple of weeks ago, I met up with the Boy for coffee. It was a totally non-aggressive situation.

A few years ago, the Boy gave me a book for Christmas. It was "Tuesdays with Morrie."
I read it, and I hated it. I think it is a sappy book with very poor writing to appeals to people who buy "Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus" dietary supplements . These people would buy MarsVenus placemats if they could.

However, there is an inscription to me on the front page of the book. And I like books with personal inscriptions in them. They make me feel special. But I cannot bear the sight of that book on my bookshelf. It irks me so much I have turned its spine to the wall, and put other books in front of it. I feel that my bookshelf is a form of self-expression. Although noone looks at my bookshelf on a daily basis except me, I feel that each time I look at my bookshelf, it tells me a little about who I am. But each time I think about "Tuesdays with Morrie" I am torn. I hate the book. I hate it there on my bookshelf, a fungus marring the expression of self that my books represent to me. But the inscription has sentimental value. And although I do not love the Boy anymore, I do not wish to hurt his feelings because he is a Good Friend. I feel that disposing of the book might hurt his feelings if he found out.
It is important to note that the Book has no negative Boy-associated karma. The Book's bad karma is entirely because it is such a poor piece of writing.

Should I...

1. Tear out the front page and keep that, but toss/ give the book away;
2. Keep the book there and just try not to think about it; or
3. Give the whole book away because it's not really nice to give damaged books away?

Things 12-14: random stuff

2006-07-24T17:15:00.000+05:30

We apologize.

It has been a week since we last posted because India censors access to blogs (see Tripping OnWords post re: this fact) and because we are not smart enough to have set up email posting for multiple blogs.

But never fear! The karmic project continues...

In India it is actually very easy to give things away because people are always asking for them. Even completely inappropriately. Like one little kid who just out and asked for my camera. I said no.

So in the last few days of traipsing around with Claire we have given away a few key objects:

1. Half of a Subway Sandwich with a bite out of it. This sounds bad, but hte person was very happy to get it.
2. Two packets of Tuna that we had bought in Morocco that stays preserved for a freakishly long time. This is a good source of protein.
3. Random rupees and tissue cases to kids who cleverly begged by coughing on us so that we were eager for them to go away. But this made the tissues appropriate, at least.

In return for all this positive work, the beggars gave us things too...some of the people that wander from car to car are not only asking for money. They sell things! Like illegal copies of books that we want to read! So in a clear cut karmic gesture, we gave something away and immediately we received things we wanted from the next poor child wading through traffic towards us. Like Blink, Freakonomics, and How Opal Mehta blah blah blah...

It was amazing.

Coming Soon!:

Lara's cool new friend Melissa gave us prezzies for her cousins that we get to pass out. So keep an eye out for an expose of this exciting news story. We'll see how said toys are received...

No More Red-Seeing Anger for One Reader

2006-07-19T14:39:00.000+05:30

An archaeologist named Karis writes to tell us of this healing story. Hate turns to peace my friends.

Luckily for me i believe i have already rid myself of everything associated with past painful relationships, but i will poke around for stuff to send to hatetohelp - it's a fabulous idea. you should try to get a blurb featured in one of those magazines like Vanity Fair.

My story: I randomly ran into an old boyfriend (the crazy, possessive, seriously-tries-to-ruin-your-life kind of boyfriend) who I dated sophomore year in college. for the longest time i couldn't even hear his name without seeing red but I was very pleasantly surprised to discover that i felt no bitterness or resentment. ah, the healing power of time.....

Thanks Karis!!!

My Picture of Hilary and Chad

2006-07-16T15:01:00.000+05:30

Since HateToHelp is now also helping celebrities, I took a recent reader suggestion about drawing pictures and drew my very own picture of the sadness and negative energy infused situation that is the Drugged Out Chad and the Oscar Winning Muscley Armed Hilary Swank.

Lara passed out food for Hillary in India, but here in Turkey I just may burn this picture in order to turn the negative energy into positive energy.

Go HateToHelp!

Is a Feeling a Thing ?

2006-07-15T14:43:00.000+05:30

We received this letter from a HateToHelp fan, that has provoked many an intense discussion via cyberspace with HateToHelp staffers.

Hi HateToHelp:

Can a feeling be a thing? Like what if I drew the feeling on a piece of paper and sent it to you?

What do our readers think? We are thinking YES. Absolutely. Send us pictures (you draw or otherwise) of that negative feeling, or maybe of the negative feeling leaving. Or a picture of you with a big smile. Or something.

Shameless PR Reminder and Send Us Your Stories!!!!

2006-07-14T21:37:00.000+05:30

Thanks Karyn for the contest wın! For all you Karyn Bosnak readers (and everyone else) - send your ex-storıes along.

How can we help you?
We loooove maıl. (Duh)
Want on our blog?

Talk to Us: HatetoHelp@gmaıl.com

THING 11: Indian Food A-Go-Go

2006-07-13T18:53:00.000+05:30

"All Indian Food All The Time" Is my new motto. I have three meals a day of the stuff. I am not exaggerating. Savory breakfast has taken on a new meaning.

Happiily, this is very good news for me, as this food is AMAZING. And very veggie-friendly which works for this ol' lifelong vegetarian.

So it was not at all difficult for me to help pass on some love in the form of food (and not in the emotional eating sense) as prescribed by our LiTTS correspondent as per the Hıllary Swank story. So, I did a couple of things.

1. Gave away massive amount of restaurant leftovers to a particularly sad looking beggar. He seemed old and really really hungry. We had a major language barrier issue, but his amputated leg jumped around a little, so I think he was excited. I figured I was doing my bit by feeding him, and by not only giving money/food/positive karma to the young and cute beggars out there. It is sad but true...they just make more.

2. Bought a round of chai at one of the many friendly local tea stands. At 5 rupees (about ten cents a pop) these shot glasses o' goodness are fully worth every bit. Plus I made some friends...including the friendly local elephant that was chillin' with all the old men just jonesin' for some tea.

Pictures are coming...but internet cafe technology is not quite what it could be right now...

KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS/STORIES/IDEAS coming!!!!!!!!!

Thing 10: Whales and Fans

2006-07-12T18:48:00.000+05:30

In a true hit of success for positive karmic sources of energy everywhere, best-selling author Karyn Bosnak has posted an entry about our HateToHelp karmic project on her BLOG

The result? An outpouring of good energy, bad ex stories, and enthusiasm from all sides. Thank you thank you thank you to Karyn, loyal readers everywhere, and our newest contributor OOMM of the cool blinky picture. Her inspiring whale story is below (via Karyn's blog)...read on. read on.

HURRAY FOR EX-CLEANSING!!!!!!!!

It wasn't a gift from an ex but a gift FOR an ex. Jeff loved whales and one summer I found a beautiful one that would look amazing in his living room. It was expensive but he was worth it right? I put it away for Christmas but by Christmas he had moved on to some other gal.

I held onto that whale for years, kept it tucked away just in case we ever got back together. Even though I've always been a whale lover (I'm a marine biologist) I could never bring myself to put it out in my own home.

A few years back I had a student working for me who was very dedicated to whale research. She was furnishing a small apartment with what she could salvage here and there while working low paying jobs that furthered the cause for the whales.

I gave her the whale intended for my ex, I told her she could choose to keep it and display it, or if she found it more helpful to sell it and use the funds to help furnish her place she could do that.

I'm not sure which she chose, she's moved on to do research in another part of the country now but I know that it meant more to her than it ever would have meant to him.

Celebrity Thıng 1: Why She Had to Hang Up Her Gloves

2006-07-11T23:22:00.000+05:30

As Hate to Help's very own, Leave it to the Stars (LiTTS-a new pseudo-name if you will) Correspondent, I will be the first to admit, the Stars' lives are not as personal as your own stories that you send us. But despite the ritz and glamour of these people, and as much as you might want to hate them, they have feelings too, and as my mother once said to me when I said some scathing biting remark about said people, "Well, they say nice things about you."

You may have heard awhile back that Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe were not doing so hot. They had joined the countless other celebrity couples that could not make it til' death do them part. But how could this be?! Even though she forgot to mention his name the first time around in her Oscar acceptance speech, she definitely thanked him the second time around, and even apologized for her previous absentmindedness. And they were the sweet down to earth Hollywood couple that said "Bollocks!" to the post-Oscar Vanity Fair party, let's go to Mel's Diner and get a burger. They don't need that glitz! How could all this possibly lead to divorce? Well it turns out, Hil's come out swingin' in this month's issue of Vanity Fair disclosing one of the breaking issues was Lowe's substance abuse, which he's been battling for three years. Swank tells Vanity Fair, which hit Newstands last week, "I knew something was happening but I didn't know what...; when I found out, it was such a shock because I never though he'd keep something from me.

Chad, Chad, Chad. I really thought you guys were the real deal. Why'd you have to go snort, shoot, or booze your marriage away? Sheesh. To spin this web of misfortune into that of fortune I encourage each Claire and Lara (since they're currently separated!)to supply a meal- a more nurturing kind of substance- to a person in need. Fortuna Buona!

Check out my equally crazy but less karmic blog TrippingOnMyFuture
*Thanks to Vanity Fair for the picture*

Introducing: HateToHelp's New Staffer!

2006-07-09T23:13:00.000+05:30

Yes, it's true. Some of you have heard the rumors. HateToHelp is going bigtime, with the addition of a Leave it To The Stars Celebrity Karma Correspondent. Confused?

Bear with us. Chloe (picture at right) is a brilliant, funny, hot woman writer with a celebrity obsession and a degree in Hollywood. She was going to take a job with Pop Sugar this year (seriously) but decided that the benefits here at HateToHelp were better (not seriously - we do not offer health insurance).

Although we love the things you have been sending us, the cast-offs from loves lost, brutal bossess, and other past experiences you want to clear your air of...well, we felt that expanding could broaden the good we do for this world.

What does this mean? Every week, Chloe will put her wit to paper and write a KarmaLITTS (Karma + Leave It To The Stars) column - think of it a bit like little bits of Karma, perhaps?

In her column, she will identify something negative energy producing that happened in the love lives of Hollywood this week, and then tell us what to give away in order to balance out the energy of the world and help our celebrity brothers and sisters...

Moral? KEEP SENDING US YOUR STUFF (2 really strange things this week already)! And read about even more ridiculousness. Want to talk to Chloe (or us), about your exes, your favorite celebs' exes, or really anything nonrelated? HateToHelp@gmail.com.

We LOVE the emails, people!

THING 9: The Canadian Blow Up Doll

2006-07-07T15:28:00.000+05:30

Someone from Toronto, named Samantha, send us the following email:

Dear Hate to Help (Lara and Claire):

I like your site and am interested in participating. My ex-boyfriend once gave me an blow up inflatable doll of a policeman but I don't want it anymore and it reminds me of him. Can I send this to the US P.O. Box for Hate to Help?

This is our concerned response, Samantha:

What?!!?!!!???

In conclusion, we lay in wait, Samantha, for the inflatadoll (we sent you the PO box info) and the explanation of why you were dating someone who gave you this.

THING 8: A Red Ring from Philadelphia

2006-07-02T16:09:00.000+05:30

A blog reader, we will call her Jenny, has contributed a ring to the HateToHelp effort. THANK JENNY! But now we need help, because we're not sure how to give it away appropriately. Throw it in the sea? Give to a small child? Leave in an ashtray?

Here is her story of the red ring, summarized in our words on her request.

Jenny is a teacher in Philadelphia, and in 2003 met a very nice other man, who was a teacher, while teaching. It was all very teacherlike. After their first date, which happened at an outdoor film event, Jenny and Sammy (is this an okay pseudonymn, Jenny?) decided to be monogamous. All was going swimmingly for exactly 12 months. At their one year anniversary, Sammy even gave Jenny a ring (it was not an engagement ring), that had a piece of something red in the inside.

"It's because I love you," he said very lovingly.

Less than one month later, Jenny walked into Sammy's fine apartment (she had the key) one day to find an unusual suitcase in the foyer.

"Whose suitcase is this?" Jenny asked Sammy.

"My ex-girlfriend is in town and we are having a shrimp dinner!" Sammy said, sounding very excited.

Although some people might have been more worried at this point, Jenny really did trust Sammy completely, he was a social studies teacher after all, and so she said: "Well, that makes me a little uncomfortable, but I hope you have a nice time."

Boy, did they have a nice time. The day after the dinner with his ex, Sammy told Jenny that he was getting back together with his ex, a woman Jenny had never even heard of. "She really meets my needs," he explained.

In the years since, Jenny has bloomed. The break-up, she says, was certainly very difficult for her, but she now knows that Sammy was not the man for her. And so she says it is time to get rid of his red ring. In Athens, we have the ring in possession. What should we do with it?

THING 7: The Happy Jump-ometer

2006-07-02T01:37:00.000+05:30

But wait...wasn't thing 5 a happy meal pedometer?

Yes. Yes it was.

But Claire went to McDonald's again in Athens to get a tsatsiki drenched burger in a pita pocket, and guess what we got along with this Grecian specialty?

That's right. McDonald's jump-o-meter the second.

So we gave it away. Of course. In this case, the title "hate to help" may have been a bit too fitting. We did hate to get ol' pedometer junior.

We walked out of McDonald's and left it on the seat of some biker's bike. Clearly, a biker probably has less need for a pedometer, as he (duh) bikes instead of walking. But his bike was covered with really gross and stupid decals. We felt that a little reminder of the simpler things in life like pedometers and Mickey D's happy meals might help him.

We hope. We hope.

If we had more people like Jenny helping us out, we wouldn't have to harass the Athens biking population.

Think about it. It could have become a safety issue had Mr. Ugly Decal Man returned to his bike much sooner.

Thing 6: A Piece of Candy in Seattle

2006-06-29T14:15:00.000+05:30

We didn't actually get the piece of candy in the mail here in Athens. But we almost did. So it counts.

Now, the particular sender is a graduate student who is training her for second marathon. Although she is in a very good relationship with a fine fellow now, she knows the pain of relationships broken, and ALSO knows how many women and men choose to run marathons in order to get over said pain. In solidarity with those type of marathon runners, like Claire, she writes this following story about the way in which she gave a piece of candy for the good of the world. Go, Karma!

I was going to mail you a piece of candy for your karma project--but it didn't quite work out. It wasn't the most tasty piece of candy. (I didn't actually try it so I should probably say it didn't look like the most tasty piece of candy.) I say this because it looked quite old (not quite 24 but probably older than 5 or 6). I was on mile 7 of a 12 miler last Sunday when I saw this old man raking the trail ahead of me. You know when you run people can usually hear you coming (loud breathing, feet dragging, leaves crunching--you get the point.)

Well this old man,

he played two
he played knick-knack on my shoe
with a knick-knack paddy-whack, give a dog a bone
this old man came rolling home

(sorry I needed to break out into a song.)

The old man didn't hear me coming so when I said "hi" as I passed him, he just about had a heart attack. He didn't. But I waited another moment to be sure of it. As I was about to start running again he called me over, took out a bag from his pocket, and said "candy!". He had a small bag of those white and red swirled mints. I graciously took one and spent the next mile to decide what to do with it. I thought of running back home with it and sending it to you. But instead I found a garbage can and left it on top for someone else.

Thanks for bearing with my story (it was the second time in two weeks that an old man has given me something to eat, last week it was a strawberry while I was waiting in my car).

And for bearing my song (story time has taken over, luckily I'll be done in 5 weeks)

Quotes from It's Called a Break-Up Cuz It's Broken

2006-06-29T14:14:00.000+05:30

Some tips for breakups from this advice tome of intense wisdom:

As the book says, "The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don't have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. That, my friend, trumps you shared love of puppies, the dave matthews band, and Mexican food."
So, listen to the book and restrain yourself from sad phone calls. Remember: "The phone can also be used to call your mom or anyone else who loves you…except babaies and dogs. They can't answer the phone"
Finally, Behrendt and Ruotola-Behrendt offer some classy advice that must be taken to heart: "Mapquest your ass on the road to recovery-not sadville, populationdrunky the clown, aka: You."

Ah, how true. AND GET RID OF HIS STUFF.

Books For Breakups

2006-06-28T22:48:00.001+05:30

Recently, a friend went through a breakup (sad face). When told she should buy It's Called a Break-Up Cuz It's Broken, that funny funny book of fun, she responded with a slightly telling blogpost (or 2), which you can see at her Singaporean Diplomat's Blog.

Here's the text of the first post by the brokenhearted diplomat:

it's called a breakup cause it's broken

I'm sure Claire meant well when she told me to read It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken but .... reading self-help books give me the heebie-jeebies. It's like the time Vince got me He's Just Not That Into You. That one ended up being stuffed at the bottom of a box somewhere. I'm sorry honey, I know it was meant to be a joke gift but you honestly don't expect me to read it, much less display it on my shelf?

For the record:

1. He is/ They are most definitely into me.

2. I do not need help meeting men or getting over men or advice on how to deal with men.

Yes, I am unhappy, and yes I am miserable at the moment. But it's like blowing your nose. You let it out and you get over it. And speaking of break-up mementos, the last time I kept something like that was K's roses. In one of my fondest memories to date, he showed up the day after we broke up with half a dozen roses, a card and I'm sorry, please let's get back together. No thanks, but I'll keep the roses.

Eventually, they dried out but I kept them in my room and whenever I looked at them, they made me laugh.

And the 2, when Deja Vu kicks in:

At Borders last night:

Wilson: Why're you so glum?
Me: I just broke up.
Wilson: Oh hey, I know just the book for you . It's called It's Called A Brea--
Me: No.
Wilson: But--
Me: No.

THING 5: Happy Meal Podometer

2006-06-18T20:38:00.000+05:30

The picture of the podometer minorly sucks. But suffice it to say this item is purple, small, and works intermittently (mostly when you jump up and down). It's high tech, and expensive, as it came in a 3.30 Euro Happy Meal*, the purchaser told us. The purchaser gave it to us because of some negative energy associated with it (full story to follow soon). So we're doing our job and getting rid of it. We're planning to pass on this exciting karmic giveaway to some small child, but we haven't found an appropriate one yet. Anyone know of a particular child in Barcelona?

*At McDonald's worldwide, always buy the Happy Meal instead of the regular Super Value Meals. They are cheaper and although the fries and drink are (slightly) smaller, you get a DESSERT and a TOY.

We´re Not Getting Sappy

2006-06-16T19:35:00.000+05:30

We got some feedback recently that things have gotten too sappy over at HateToHelp, what with featuring other people´s joy and all.

Here is our response: we´re the same cynical bastards as always, but when good things happen to those we love, we´re gonna pass that on. And, of course, if you sent us an old t'shirt maybe we wouldn´t have to.

Other People's Joy

2006-06-14T16:01:00.000+05:30

Today, we are feeling particularly happy for a few individuals we know, and we're going to give you a photo essay to give you a glimpse into their particular joy.
These individuals live in Chicago, and are doing things like "getting doctorates" and they have discovered some function on their cameras that allows them to entertain themselves for hours.

They are also dating eachother, thankfully, because they seem to have similar interests.

A Volunteer Gets Engaged

2006-06-14T14:07:00.000+05:30

This person is someone who works full time doing good works for mankind in the fine city of Seattle. But she is also someone who has nice makeup and things. So, when it came time to get an engagement ring, she had one real concern in mind: Get an engagement ring that is really nice but does not look too darn flashy at the soup kitchen. We think this is kind of cool, and have this to say: It's a gorgeous ring, you soup ladler, you!

HateToHelp on Google (apparently)

2006-06-13T01:24:00.000+05:30

I would just like to say that if you search the phrase "Getting rid of negative energy", you will find our HateToHelp blog listed as number 20. Although others might find this not interesting, when you spend your days waiting for people to send you old t-shirts so that you can write about them...well, you get the picture. Everything becomes interesting. I think I'll spend the next hour looking for more phrases to make us higher than 20.

Help our World Get More Non-White Barbies

2006-06-09T04:59:00.000+05:30

So Claire's sister is a social worker that does good mostly good things for the community of this world and gets paid nothing for it, as usual. Today she was at a client's home and something funny happened. She, being white, met a little girl in the house, who was not white.

Looking at her excitedly, the little girl screamed: "You're as white as my Barbie!"

Today, we have a suggestion. Write an email to Mattel (they make Barbies), or even call them. Tell them you would like more nonwhite Barbies, and then add that you were disturbed when they manufactured the Barbie that said: "Math is hard. Let's go shopping!"

Or, you could ask for a free Barbie and then give it to a homeless person. From the US and Canada, call 1-800-524-8697. Or, email them here.

Here are some Filipino Barbies that are dressed in some kind of indigenous get up that took 2 years of research and sewing to create. Huh? and Thanks! to Philippine Airlines Mabuhay

Help Us Help You

2006-06-07T04:47:00.000+05:30

What is this person doing? They are being brilliant. They have taken a leaf and turned it into a costume. What brilliance.

In a similar way, we can take your negative life energy experiences (your lame ex boyfriend, that graduate school that wouldn't let you in, the boss you hated, the friend that sucked) and turn them into great little glistening bits of positive energy. Then you feel less burdened and we get funny blog material!

Specifically, we can pass out your crap to people that need it more - in every country of the globe (almost). How to get in on this fantastic opportunity? Send your old crap! Snail mail info below for our US P.O. Box, or email at HateToHelp@gmail.com!

Then, we write a blog about it. Yes, about YOU and your CRAP.

Alternate route: Let go of your negative energy in an interesting way and write us about it! Tell us anything! Tell us how you sold that ugly Tiffany's necklace on ebay and gave a sweet 14 year old her best birthday ever! Tell us how your ex's cuddly sweatshirt was given to the particularly cold homeless person on your block.

It's so fun. And so easy. Like giving a small puppy some peanut butter on a spoon and watching his tongue struggle to finish it. Or whatever.

What does this have to do with anything?

2006-06-02T04:36:00.000+05:30

Nothing. But They Look Cute Don't They? We don't think they need our help. If any celebrities (or any of you) are interested in getting rid of some negative energy today (or any day), then please contact us and we can come up with a positive plan for turning your negative event into a positive one and posting about it on our blog.

Send us something we can give away.
Or send us a picture of you giving something away.
Or send us a little note saying how you feel you are going to eliminate the hate in this little planet of ours today.
Or write us an email about a particular politician or peanut butter brand that has really made your world a brighter place.
If you write us an email about a particular politician or peanut butter brand that is making your world darker, we will even come up with an interesting energy clearing act to balance out the world's karma in regards to this particular act.
Really, you can send us anything and we would post it.

Email: hatetohelp@gmail.com

Thank You www.PopSugar.com for the great pictures of love.

We only have so many exes people...

2006-05-31T04:20:00.000+05:30

...and we've pretty much run out. Can we pay you to send us something? Does anyone read this? We need material, people.

Sad Day; (

Get Involved : Support Ms. J in a Suicide Prevention Walk

2006-05-26T21:00:00.000+05:30

Today we want to spotlight someone who is doing something particularly positive in this world.
If you are feeling rather bored today, or have a couple bucks burning a hole in your pocket, please consider helping this fascinating grad student on a very good cause.

After you do this, then you can send us the old crap of someone who made you mad today. We can then transform this negative energy into waves of positivity here on the good old Canary Islands (where we are now).

Thank you,

claire and lara...hatetohelp@gmail.com

You can donate at her website. Copy this link into the browser: http://www.theovernight.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=10005597

This is her sweet letter:

Dear friends and family,

In July, I'll be participating in a 20-mile, dusk-until-dawn walk in San Francisco to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. All proceeds will be used to fund suicide prevention programs, research and education on suicide and its causes, and efforts to increase access to treatment for at-risk individuals.

Some facts: Suicide is among the top ten leading causes of death in the U.S. (up there with accidents, diabetes, and Alzeimer's disease), and the second leading cause of death among people in their teens and twenties. Every year, 30,000 Americans die by suicide, and 80 million are at risk due to mental illness and/or substance abuse. It would be so great if you could help show support for those who have lost a family member or friend to suicide, and for the millions of others who struggle with suicidal ideation.

In order to participate in this walk, I need to raise at least $1000 (I'm aiming for double). Fortunately, lots of little increments add up to big things. Together, I truly think we can help out this cause.

Your support means so much, thank you to all of you.
--Jocelyn

We Need Your Stuff

2006-05-24T00:28:00.000+05:30

We do.

Do you have bad bosses?
Do you have bad friends?
Do you have bad or non-bad exes that you would like to clear the air of?

SEND IT TO US.

We beg of you. Seriously.

Motivational Quote Relevant to this Project

2006-05-22T00:25:00.000+05:30

"Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk."

-Travis Bickle: Taxi Driver

The Concept: Get Rid of It to Get Over It

2006-05-21T02:20:00.000+05:30

You know that stuff you keep around long after a relationship has died? You know how thinking about past anger/hurt gets you all riled up all over again?

Well, now there's something to do.

You don't need that crap. But you don't want to throw it out...luckily, everyone in the whole wide world needs it more than you. Look at the elephants...and remember: one ex's trash is some random person's treasure for an hour or so.

So help us help you. Send your crap to us as we travel the world and we will make sure it goes to someone who can use it for something other than pathetic nights of tears. Use us to get rid of the negativity.

THING 4: I Was a Book on CRACK

2006-05-10T03:55:00.000+05:30

When Julio Cortazar wrote Hopscotch, he must have been on something akin to crack. This is why:

When you read hopscotch, you do not read it in an order in which a normal book would be read. Instead, you start on chapter 73. The next one you read is 1. The next one is 23. Ten chapters later you get to 2. Or something like that.

For this reason alone, this book should be given away.

But the reason we give it away is because an ex of Lara´s gave it to her.

"Read this," he must have said. (Or at least something like that.)

But now it is read, and Lara thinks it carries the aura of him, and so the Granada public library can make do with it what they will.

THING 3: I was a Beloved Sweatshirt

2006-05-08T20:15:00.000+05:30

In this post things get a little tricky. Negativity advances, and turns the table.

Up until now, Lara and Claire were batting a thousand...or whatever is the appropriate number. We don't do sports.

It was a standard day in Madrid. Claire had managed to leave bed after the marathon, and they had gone out a-wandering. Madrid is pretty. Museums are pretty. Gardens are pretty. We were pretty in all these places.

We a-wandered for way too long and ended up at a crap cafeteria near our house. We killed 50 minutes waiting for our waitress to bring us a drink meny, and then another 15 waiting for them to come take the order. We ordered food, drink, and settled in.

They brought the wrong food. They poured the wrong drinks. They yelled at Claire in Spanish about the contents of mayonnaise exclaiming that since it was "natural" there were no eggs in it. This made no sense.

In an act of defiance, we decided to walk out on our check. We then pussied out and left 1.89 Euro behind. On an adrenaline high, we rocketed out of there, proud to have stuck it to the evil people.

But then, attempting to disguise myself, I (Lara) realized I had left my favorite sweatshirt with the evil people. What to do? Go back and get yelled at and pay for food we didn't/couldn't eat? Leave it and decrease my year wardrobe by about 18%?

I decided to meditate on it, and realized that karma had acted quickly and clearly. Walk out on check and sweatshirt walks out on you.

In a shocking moment of clarity, however, Claire pointed out that the evil restaurant deserved it, and all knowing karma would know that. So we got over it, went to our favorit pasta restaurant, and decided negative energy had earned its first point.

So:

Negative Energy: 1
Lara, Claire and the Powers of Positive Thinking: 2

Things are close.

Get Involved ! (Send Us Something)

2006-05-08T17:57:00.000+05:30

To send us something from your own ex, or from a bad professor or ex-friend, you can do one of the following:

1. Most countries have a central post office, and a system for holding mail for people who do not have permanent PO boxes there. Thus, you can put a package in the mail to any destination that we might be passing through and we can pick it up.

Here is how to address the package:

Lara and Claire HateToHelp
Poste Restante
Central Post Office
City/State/Province/Whatever
COUNTRY

2. If you are sending a letter sized package (perhaps a photo or keychain), you can send it to any American Express office in any country and they will hold it for us. To find the AmEx office in the country to which you want to send your old crap, visit this site. OR call our friends at American Express (1-800-THE-CARD) to get a list of American Express Travel Services offices in the city and country of your choice.

3. Finally, if international shipping sucks for you, you can send it to our USA PO BOX, where friendly people ship it to us. If you want to send to our US PO BOX please email us for that address at HateToHelp@gmail.com, because we are not going to do things like give out that so personal PO right here.

Cheers! Looking forward to your crap!

THING 2: I was a Salmon? Pink? Shirt

2006-05-07T20:01:00.000+05:30

Claire ran the Marathon in Madrid during our trip because she is cool, hard core and a spanish-o-phile (this is not a real word).

To the race, she wore a final garment from her ex-boyfriend that she shed before beginning to run. Lara wore the shirt around a while (Madrid was strangely cold), but when she saw Claire cross the finish line, the shirt went on top of a trash can a la India food person since there was no one appropriately needy about.

And Bam!

Claire was rid of her previous title as "lazy person" and a negative-energy-infested boyfriend memory trap all in one go.

Scoreboard:

Negative Energy: 0
Claire and Lara fighting for positivity everywhere: 2

THING 1: I was Cheesy-Love Propaganda

2006-05-06T18:21:00.000+05:30

There was a bad book about love that we read when coming across the Atlantic. In reality, Lara was the only one that read it, because Claire couldn't finish it. Because it was that bad. It had a name like, "I Sound Totally Different Than I Am Becuase I Am THAT Sappy" or some such crap.

Claire finally put it down for the 18 millionth time, unwilling to go on because the negative energy the book was sending off was too much. We needed to let go of the book in a powerful way that extended global loving feelings. What to do? Lara said.

We were sitting there on the top deck of our cruise ship tanning. Claire and Lara locked eyes from their plastic chaise lounges. Claire was on page 123. She raised her arm and hurled the book overboard.

They raced to the railing to look overboard, but the book had already disappeared. It wasn't even heavy or anything. It must have gone to a lower deck. We figure that a book falling into your lap from the sky automatically makes the book seem like a good thing.

It was the first time she had littered in 3 years (she thinks). The new trip had begun with a bang.

We immediately realized that we could leave a trail behind us...not of litter, but of energy conversion. The call was clear. And we answered. It was just us on the other end, though.

Negative Energy: 0
Lara Claire and Positivity: 1

Claire Gets Proactive

2006-05-05T22:12:00.000+05:30

In Buenos Aires in the fall of 2005, the project takes a new turn when recently cooked edible goods jump on board. It is not that they jump in, per say, but that Claire cooks them, her sister doesn´t eat them, and then Claire puts them on the street.

Claire tells us that they weren´t bad, it´s just that she didn´t want them. And there are hungry people, and she sometimes remembers to put forks in the bags. So, really, it´s a good thing.

The Idea Helps People...via Claire

2006-05-04T21:59:00.000+05:30

In India in July of 2005, we are eating food at restaurants with large groups of International people and no one finishes everything. Or at least sometimes they don´t. So we begin a crusade of getting things wrapped up for take out and giving them to people who are explicitly begging (guessing is a bad idea if you are wrong) and/or leaving them outside and thinking that someone who might be hungry might want to eat it.

Now, this wasn´t Claire´s idea. The genesis of the food angle really came years ago, when Claire was eating dinner with one of her friend in Berkeley. It was Indian food, and there was too much, but Claire was not going to wrap it up mostly because she forgot about it. But her friend got her´s wrapped up, and when they walked outside to the car she left it on top of a trashcan.

"What are you doing?" Claire asked, because that is what one would think one would ask at this point in the story.

The answer was that she was leaving it outside because maybe someone looking in the trash would want it. And this way they wouldn´t have to root through things.

POINT OF STORY/IDEA: Someone should have a job getting all the leftovers from restaurants and cafes and bringing them to a central location within a given area to feed people. We are sure this exists many times over.

An Idea Is Born

2006-04-22T16:28:00.000+05:30

In May of 2005, Claire was sleeping in a hotel in Beijing. That night, she had put on the t-shirt of a recently departed ex to sleep in. It was soft, and probably special to him, and she liked sleeping in it. Or so she thought.

In the middle of the night, she woke up sweating, and was confused because although Beijing is hot in May, it is not hot when your room air conditioner is set at 61 degrees.

She began to think about what was making her hot, and determined it was the shirt, as that and the bedsheet were the only two viable options. But then she started thinking more deeply, and realized that it was more than the thin cotton fabric of the white and red Math Masters t-shirt that was stiffling her. Indeed, it was the concept of wearing something of her ex´s.

She then threw the t-shirt on the floor, found a cooler tank top with no negative associations, and then went back to sleep. In the morning, the project had begun.

On May 24, 2005, Claire gave away this white and red Math Masters t-shirt to a man with a messed up leg begging outside a museum of something or other in Beijing (not Peking), China.

The HateToHelp karma project had begun.